Now accepting suggestions* for stupid things to post on https://musklesstwitter.com
*or purchase offers.

We are excited to announced insulin is free now.

I am a reporter for a large newspaper that you have a parasocial relationship with because it makes you feel like you're more well-informed than your IRL friends.

I am a person that you have never met, and have absolutely no mutual connections with. But somehow I've ended up in your timeline because aren't social media algorithms just funky?

🇺🇦 До біса Володимир Путін 🇺🇦

This is a slightly off-color joke that makes you wonder why you were ever friends with me in the first place.

Why are you following a brand as if you were actually friends with us? Kinda weird if you really stop and think about it...

Micro$oft

Facebook, Apple, and Google all got away with their monopolist power grabs because they don't have any 'S's in their names for critics to snarkily replace with '$'s.

just set up my twttr.